Why don't I pray like this?

I know of few people who's theology is so rich that it overflows into prayers as such: 

"Grant that I may be salted with suffering, with every exactment tempered to my soul, every rod excellently fitted to my back, to chastise, humble, break me. Let me not overlook the hand that holds the rod, as thou didst not let me forget the rod that fell on Christ, and drew me to him." 

Success is not necessarily a confirmation that you're in God's will.

At least it wasn't for Jeremiah.....

"..I have become a laughingstock all day long; everyone mocks me. For each time I speak, I cry aloud; I proclaim violence and destruction, because for me the word of the Lord has resulted in reproach and derision all day long." Jeremiah 20:7-8

I wish I understood God and the gospel the way Puritans did.

"Break the fatal enchantment that binds my evil affections, and bring me to a happy mind that rests in thee, for thou hast made me and canst not forget me. Let thy Spirit teach me the vital lessons of Christ, for I am slow to learn; and hear thou my broken cries."

The Awakened Sinner. The Valley of Vision. A collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. 

What I mean when I say I like flowers

I prefer to delight in the complexity of flowers than the delivery of flowers.

Three Reasons to Go Dancing. Line dancing.

1. It challenges me to stop caring what other people think about me.

2. It lets you move and stomp and twirl (and work on your coordination).

3. It gives girls the opportunity to follow and boys the opportunity to lead.

Four reasons why you should travel by plane if you can.

1. You realize the big-ness of your city, then the enormity of your state, and how grand is the vastness of creation. Suddenly how small you really are hits you.

2. You are faced with death. For some reason flying makes me think more of death. Then I always utter the verse that whether in life or death that Christ would be magnified.

3. Your "plans" that were so carefully constructed are frequently changed without your consent.

4. There is usually more than one opportunity to laugh at yourself--your clumsiness, your ridiculous running down the halls dodging people with your purse and laptop flying everywhere just to make your boarding time, having to take off your shoes and all that goes with the security, maneuvering through a very narrow space to find your seat, settling down and then finding out you're in the wrong seat.

God Bless Texas

Some interesting things about my trip to Texas:

1. A man (fatherly man) asked me, "So you haven't found Mr. Right yet, huh?"

2. A stranger noticed a tired mom trying to eat and hold her 4 month old (while the baby was crying) observed for a few minutes and then asked if she could hold the baby and quieted and entertained the baby for 20 minutes.

3. A gray-haired man speeding down a dirt road in a quad wearing yellow-tinted glasses....bela karolyi.

Post Olympic Thoughts....on gymnastics of course.

The Olympics are awesome. Every four years the world comes together and the top athletes in the world compete. Language and culture are put aside and talent is exposed. I love it--especially gymnastics.

These girls spend 15 years of their lives working hard--harder than most people will work in their life. They spend 120 hours a month beating their bodies into submission. Tumbling precisely to get a certain height off the ground, twisting so specifically in order to complete three 360 deg twists before hitting the ground. Their hands and feet bloodied, ripped, blistered from practice. Their tendons and ligaments stretched, tightened. Everyday waking up in pain and soreness from the conditioning regime they follow. We haven't even talked about the mental side of the sport---the focus, the fears, the getting through the pain, frustration, the loneliness, the constant pressure to give 110% everyday. The trust they have to place in their coach and their coaches' words.

I love the training, the hard days, the dark nights--the glory is fleeting, it's just one moment in time that everything came together perfectly. Most of the effort is in the training. Sometimes on TV they will show a "fluff piece" where for 1 minute they show the girls workout and talk about their aspirations and dreams. I always wished the fluff pieces lasted for hours. I love to see the training. I guess its the coach in me.

During the women's individual all-around finals medal ceremony, Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson were so overcome with emotions: gratitude, relief, pride for their country, respect for each other, and a joy of reaping the rewards of a lifetime of intense discipline, self control, making their bodies their slaves, pain, trials, injuries, sweat, effort, patience, trust, obedience. They had put so much into perfecting every movement so that they would make a fatally dangerous pirouette on the bars look effortless. They had endured intense seasons of conditioning and flexibility, and all of that work climaxed on that podium. Gratefulness seemed to pour through them, humility while they recognized their parents, coaches and friends, and each other for pushing each other to be better, to leap higher, to stick more.

The spiritual applications are endless.

I love gymnastics. It brings me back to God and what He's doing with me.

I love those days where I am reminded to not take myself seriosuly

The other day at the store I saw some lotions on sale. I opened the lid to one container and tried to smell it. Apparently I simultaneously squeezed it. I put the lotion down and laughed to myself as I shamefully wiped off my lotion-covered face and quickly moved to the next aisle.

Boasting..not such a bad thing.

I am reading the book of Jeremiah and today I cannot get this one verse out of my head. It talks about those who are wise shouldn't boast in their wisdom, or those who are strong should not boast in their might, but you SHOULD boast that you know the Lord.


Not all boasting is bad.

God moves in a mysterious way

This is my week of packing.

I have rediscovered old memories and find myself inundated with past feelings and thoughts.

I have discovered Jeremy Riddle . I love his rendition of William Cowper's God Moves In A Mysterious Way.

The part that hit me hardest or What I got out of church today.

In order to remove our hands from clinging to lesser things, our hearts and affections must surround and embrace eternal truths (ie. God knows us) and our grasp on the worthless can be relinquished and we are enabled to cling to the worthy, good, eternal, satisfying God.

Portland

I spent this past weekend in Portland for my best friend from high school's wedding. It was an interesting weekend to say the least. But here are my observations/generalizations about Portland:

1. It is very green.
2. It reminds me of San Jose, but greener.
3. Everyone seems friendlier than usual.
4. Everyone drives slow. The freeway speed is 55. All the speed limit signs are enormous.
5. The stoplights hang from wires instead of poles and look as though you might be lucky enough for one to fall on you as you drive underneath the ominous string of wires.
6. Ok, and having someone pump your gas is absolutely bizarre.

Surprising sight

As I quickly turned into the cul-de-sac where I work I was shocked to see a geyser exploding. Well, actually it was a fire hydrant that had been hit by a semi-truck. The water shot upwards with such force that people were taking pictures and I couldn't help but laugh. I was quickly reprimanded by one of my co-workers about the waste of water. My delight in the surprising scene was quickly dampened.

Country Music, Asics, and a Funny Homeless Man

Sue me, I like country music now.




I got new running shoes because I am training for my first marathon in August. My old ones were so worn down I was certain i was getting bruises on the bottom of my feet. The only thing I kept motivating myself with while running was, "The Kenyans do this with no shoes!"



Two nights ago an older, grey, smoking homeless man barked at me and some friends, "Hey could you spare a million dollars?" I was expecting to apologetically say no if he asked for spare change. I was so caught off guard that I started laughing.

Two things/observations

1. If my feelings are not in line with the Bible they are wrong. My feelings are not God. God is God.

2. I love seeing people enthusiastically dancing and singing to music in their car. It always makes me smile.

I came across this writing of mine that's almost 2 years old. The comedy lies in the fact I thought living through this was not a possibility.

10/30/06

Lord I feel as though my life is spinning out of control. Maybe a better phrase is “I’m in over my head”. I have three tests this week and a physiology lab notebook due. We have Zone championships in Clovis this weekend with the Level 5s and 6s. Why I am letting You know these things as if you didn’t already know, I’m not sure. But I do know that I have an insurmountable mountain to climb and I can’t seem to tackle it one step at a time.

My mind spins in circles with formulas and graphs and perissodactyla.

[] of NaCl
absorption of KMnO4
potential voltage difference
rate of hemolysis
10
77 deg C
enzymes
metabolic rate

I am inundated with words I don’t care about. Graphs, though logical, mean little to me. I have a practice test I have to look through and yet just glancing at the first page I knew nothing. I have approximately 24 hours until this test. Of those 24, I only have about 6 to study. 6 hours.

I feel swallowed. Maybe inundated. Drowning. I can barely look at my class notes without being repulsed and in reflex closing the cuaderno. Spanish, why am I speaking in Spanish? Am I taking any Spanish classes? No. But it frees my mind.
I only know about 100 words in Spanish, but I love the limitation I have of it. I love that I can communicate. It’s not because I have a test, not because I need to understand a process, but because it’s a way in which people connect.
It uses the other, less-worked side of my brain.

And I look at my life right now, and there are few things that I enjoy about it.

But I remember that You know, You see all. And for whatever reason, this is what You want me to go through right now.
I feel as though I learn this lesson 6 times every quarter. You would think I would get it by now.

Can I trust You, that You’ll bring me through?

Yes.
You always do.

I find it frustrating that a huge problem in my life is school. That is so dumb.
I’m not even good at Biology.
I don’t like animals.

School seems so wimpy, so miniscule in the grand scheme of things, yet it is the very water that is over my head.
It is the very air that suffocates my desires.

Education. The hustle and bustle to become worldly wise. Oh the urgency, the aimless pursuit for things which cannot satisfy.
How hard it is. I think I’ve pinpointed it. Maybe not.

For me to know God--

To trust, love, and run to the Living Water.
The supreme fountain of my being
In whom I find all goodness, all love, all grace, and mercy.

The One in whom I continually resort. Who satisfies my soul.
The One who gives me purpose,
in whom I could spend the rest of my days at His feet.

Then to come to a place of pursuing the finite. The empty. The futile. All classes, all equations, all school pales in comparison to my God. How do I live in this awful place?

Soren just walked by me. I don’t know if he was talking to me or his friend, but either way. Thank You Lord for the encouragement.
“Hey Danielle. You have the Holy Spirit in you.”

I have the Holy Spirit in me. That is how I live. I bring the Lord with me. Lord bring me to You, bring me with You. Never let me leave You. It’s a desert out here.

I can't get this out of my head.

From a Piper sermon:

"Decisions are easy. Affections are impossible. And the Christian life is impossible. And you should feel desperate if you're sitting there feeling "but I don't treasure Him that way." Join the club. Everyday I pray about my failing emotions. Everyday I pray about how my computer attracts me, and my wife attracts me, and my daughter attracts me, and preaching attracts me. And Christ is less attractive. That's my main battle in life. That's the meaning of sanctification-- is to fight at that level, not the decision level, the duty level, the action level. All that comes when out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, out of the abundance of the heart the hands move. The battle is fought at the treasuring level of life. Turn the word treasure from a noun into a verb. So Jesus is the direct object of the verb treasure. Over sex, money, career, family, and health, and life itself."

getting to the point

I was inspired by Abraham Piper's (John Piper's son) blog. His goal is to get his point across in 22 words or less, not including titles.

If you know me, brevity is not one of my gifts. I like this new challenge of getting to the point. Hence, my short entries.

One way to realize that this world is not all about you..

I coach a triplet. Today was her birthday, and her sister's birthday, and her brother's birthday.

I have been exhorted to magnify Christ like a telescope, not a microscope.

Wrestling with this all week: How do I coach gymnastics so Jesus looks as grand as He is, which of course is greater than gymnastics?

Fill in your own blank.

Unheard noises.

I wonder what it sounds like when the mountains will break forth into shouts of joy and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

I asked a kid to do a preposterous thing today.

There is Spring Camp this week at the gymnastics club I work at. One of the 70 kids was kicking a girl in front of him. I pulled him aside and asked him to look into my eyes and reprimanded him about the consequences of kicking girls and then I told him, "You need to have love in your heart." After a brief pause, I realized I asked this kid to do the impossible. I quickly ushered him back into his line.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

If our heart from birth is deceitful, wicked, and stony it does not default to love, kindness, and concern for God or for others. Unless it is quickened by God Himself and shown life and love from God it remains in its natural state, unloving and prone to kicking others. How can we love if we don't know God?

Resurrection Sunday

I couldn't get this thought and verse out of my head today.

"....He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification." (Rom 4:25)

Jesus' death so perfectly and completely purchased our redemption that there was no just warrant for Jesus staying dead. God would have been unjust if He kept Him dead.

And I would have been a most pitied fool.

Yael Naim.

I love this girl's sound. She was born in Paris and is half Israeli, and her voice is heavenly. Here is a fun music video I enjoyed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YUxbDEPFiM