Talking to myself...

Main way of sanctification: "Conquer the power of the promises of sin with the power of a superior promise."

What I don't have, I don't need.

My Father knows what I need.

He is making me holy and this is one of the means He is choosing according to His good, perfect, acceptable will.

The Lord is on my side.

"Since you have purified your souls in obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart."

"Act as free men and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil but use it as bondslaves of God."

"Honor all people,

Love the brotherhood,

Fear God....."

Stream of Consciousness

A Sober Spirit:

God owes nobody lungs that work. God owes nobody breath.

Unbiblical: Unemotional, detached responses of, "This is going to happen. God is in control."

That God is sovereign and in control IS the grounds for all prayers and supplications, but pain and a terribly heavy heart are normal experiences for a believer. In fact I have found them to be catalysts to fervent pleading and desperate calling out for God to act.

Psalm 131: O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! If she has no breath, how can she praise the Lord?

Often find myself critical before encouraging. Hard to rejoice in the highs because I expect the lows to follow. If I don't allow myself to get so high in the good moments then the drop to the hard moments won't be so bad. I am self-protective. "Danielle, worrying doesn't help. It does not add hours or time to anyones life or solve problems. Rejoice in what I am doing today."

God has called me to rejoice in what He is doing regardless if later I must endure a deeper low. He will not leave me to trek through the valleys alone--He is my helper.

Keep me from living in fear and avoidance.

Fill me with courage and hope.

I am not afraid of Kelly's Lupus.

I am not dismayed by Kelly's Lupus.

"...the cup which the Father has given me, shall I not drink it?" --John 18:11

The cups that the Father gives us to drink,

[He who knows all things, who never allows anything to separate us from His love, the Father who disciplines us for our good so that we can partake in holiness, who knows the exact amount of suffering and trials we need so that we will not trust in ourselves but in the power of God and boast in the cross, the Father who radically uses every instrument He has to save us from ourselves to free us to find joy and happiness in Him]

how can we not drink them?

Though the bud may have a bitter taste, sweet will be the flower.

Dual effort: God initiates with grace, man responds with work.

(Phil 2:12) Work out your salvation: "I HAVE INCLINED my heart to perform Your statutes forever, even to the end." (Psalm 119:112)

(Phil 2:13) For it is God who is at work in you: "INCLINE my heart to Your testimonies and not to dishonest gain." (Psalm 119:36)

Prayer and Action:

God: Please, incline my heart....

Me: I will incline my heart....

God initiates, man responds. I should not just sit there and wait for heaven to open, angels to flood down and touch me. I pray that God would incline my heart, then with all the power, energy, and effort I have ...I incline my heart.

Party of One

Forgotten it seems

Left out by no effort of myself

Awkward moments of

What to do

and

How to act

Stinging feelings of sitting alone

Aimless thoughts wondering, "Will I ever..."

Are those promises of a fruitful vine not mine?

Is my sanctification mostly in singleness rather than child bearing?

Will I walk through life alone?

Is there none made for me to be a suitable helpmate?

Tears, loneliness, desire, masks of "I'm Ok"...

How will I provide for myself?

Will raising a family never be my lot?

Should I trust that You will provide someone for me to love, submit to, and serve?

Or should I trust that You rule over all things and it may never happen?

I know the answer is both.

Are You more glorified in my singleness?

Is Your name more magnified in my journey-of-one?

How do I be, how do I act around couples?

How do I rejoice with those who rejoice?

You are my portion and the strength of my life forever.

Danielle, get it together, hope in God.

I know all these things, but give me Your peace,

Give me grace to be strengthened in this season of my life..

I am not alone. God is a very present help. Very present.

My boundaries and times of my life are appointed not randomly, but by God.

Persevere in tribulation. I am so impatient.

"Get me out of this!", is my selfish cry.

Let me have a spirit of waiting, of quietness of spirit so that You can work out character in me.

These trials are conforming me into Christ's image--fulfilling the purpose of my predestination.

The rewards of suffering are unfair. For the glories that will be revealed are much greater than the pains and trials.

This is not a new temptation. Not one unique to me. It is common to man.

God is faithful.

He will allow me to endure it.

I am comforted by God.

Afflicted but not crushed.

All things are according to the counsel of His will.

This is purposeful, planned...not a mistake, or an oversight.

My life is not my own

What makes me think I can run it and know best?

Teach me obedience from this suffering.

What made me think that I would enter the kingdom of God without tribulations?

After the crushing of grapes comes the joy of wine.

Expecting joy...

For I have received grace upon grace.