The Double Agony

John 18:4--Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek?"


Jesus knew all that would happen to him, AND still goes forward in accomplishing the mission the Father gave him. There is something remarkable about this "knowing". I look at my own life, and if I would have known all the confusion, heartache, and pain that I would have to go through I don't think I would have continued down certain paths. 


But here Jesus has premonition. He knew about every pain and trouble he would go through and he still went to the cross. It's like a double agony. Going through the pain is an agony in itself, but the anticipation of rejection, pain, and sorrow certainly doubles the pain. 


It reminds me of high school cross country races. The race wasn't too long of a distance so you run hard the entire course. The whole experience is not enjoyable but full of pain and agony. The joy is crossing the finish line and being done. Yet, without a doubt, the worst part was lining up at the starting line. The anticipation of all the pain, the sweat, the muscle spasms was enough to make you want to puke or walk away and not race. 


My Savior was wholly committed to saving me, and went through double agony to secure my redemption. This gives me a double confidence. In one sense, he knows my hurts and sorrows and has endured way deeper pain and agony than I can even imagine. Secondly, it reminds me if he went through all of that to secure my salvation, he will uphold me today and tomorrow and until I see him face to face in glory.