"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea...God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:1-2, 5-6
The anti-psalm is a more accurate and honest reflection of my heart.
In the midst of trouble I run to other people and things that can't really protect me or support me. This proves to be more disappointing and painful than my initial troubles. Because I feel like God is far from me, and because I don't seek refuge in him, it feels like my whole world is falling apart. I am deeply afraid. I am tossed into the heart of the sea. I am greatly shaken and morning seems like it will never come. I want to control my life and I seek to be exalted. Peace is a foreign word to me. I am restless.
Lord Jesus, I confess that I often don't run to you in my storms. I am embarrassed to admit that I seek refuge in my tears and in my self pity. I seek strength in other things, even other people.
But you are my only constant and capable refuge. You alone are strong enough to hold me and deal with my fears, pains, anxieties, and desires.
Lord, I also confess that there are times when trouble comes and you don't seem very near. But that's a low view of your sovereignty. You are so near that it is in fact from your hand that my troubles come. Though troubles and pains are difficult, you are the only one greater than those troubles, more powerful than the pain. Oh, to have an unshakeable confidence in your care and your presence! Peace truly comes when I realize that you are God, and I am not. Purpose comes when my deepest affections are more concerned with exalting you than myself.
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